WEBVTT
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Ew, what is that smell?
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I made cheesy eggs.
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Yeah, no,
I think it's Ernie.
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It's the weekend.
Showering is optional.
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No. No, it's not.
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Agent Johnson,
from The Organization.
Nobody move.
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Oh, is this about the pen
I took from the office?
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Kira Cooper,
you're under arrest.
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Craig, give them
back their pen!
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It's not about the pen.
You're under arrest for leveling
our field office in Hong Kong.
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We have an office
in Hong Kong?
00:37.458 --> 00:40.228
Not anymore.
Pay attention!
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Hey!
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Honey, don't worry.
Everything will be all right.
Hey!
00:49.437 --> 00:50.397
( music )
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♪ Oh, when danger
comes for you ♪
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♪ You know
I'll stand beside you ♪
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♪ Cause ain't nobody
keep their head so cool ♪
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♪ I always find a way ♪
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♪ A way out of the fire ♪
01:05.419 --> 01:07.119
♪ But don't tell nobody ♪
01:07.154 --> 01:08.994
♪ Tell nobody ♪
01:09.023 --> 01:10.423
♪ I'm not perfect ♪
01:10.458 --> 01:14.958
♪ So many things
I wanna tell you ♪
01:14.995 --> 01:18.365
♪ But I
I keep it undercover ♪
01:18.399 --> 01:20.399
♪ Livin' my life
on red alert♪
01:20.434 --> 01:23.044
♪ Doin' my thing,
gonna make it work ♪
01:23.070 --> 01:24.070
♪ Know I'm the realest ♪
01:24.105 --> 01:25.305
♪ Baby, I'm fearless ♪
01:25.339 --> 01:27.209
♪ But I always
got your back ♪
01:27.241 --> 01:29.311
♪ Nobody can do it
like I can ♪
01:29.343 --> 01:31.383
♪ I gotta find out
who I am ♪
01:31.412 --> 01:34.112
♪ Ain't got to worry
about me ♪
01:34.148 --> 01:36.048
♪ It's all
part of the plan ♪
01:36.183 --> 01:38.053
I keep it undercover.
01:38.085 --> 01:39.385
I keep it undercover.
01:42.323 --> 01:44.993
Theris no way Mom could
do this to The Organization.
01:45.025 --> 01:47.365
She is the most loyal person
in the world.
01:47.394 --> 01:50.234
For crying out loud,
she still uses AOL.
01:50.264 --> 01:52.064
What if she never
comes home?
01:52.099 --> 01:53.399
Who's gonna
take care of us?
01:53.434 --> 01:56.074
Ernie, we gotta pull it
together, all right?
01:56.103 --> 01:57.403
We're gonna get through
this as a family.
01:57.438 --> 02:00.038
( sighs )
You're right.
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We'll all pitch in.
I'll--
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do what Mom would do.
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You going to decimate
a building?
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Judy!
What? I'm using humor
to lighten the mood.
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Well, don't bother.
Okay? Everything
is gonna be just fine.
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I'm sure of it.
02:14.955 --> 02:17.095
Things could not
get any worse.
02:17.124 --> 02:19.124
They're calling her
an enemy of the state,
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and they have tons
of evidence.
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Now would be a good time
to lighten the mood.
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Knock knock.
Who's there?
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Five agents
to rescue a Cooper.
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Too soon?
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What took you guys
so long?
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Uhh... you're in a prison
40 stories underground,
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and the elevator was broke.
Oh. Wow!
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My ears just popped.
02:58.265 --> 03:01.035
Hah-hah! Ooh,
sorry honey, is there
anything we can do for you?
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Well, some clean clothes
and a hairbrush would be
a good start.
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Oh, and maybe if you have
time... clear my name!
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Mom, look, we know
you didn't do this.
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I am being set up.
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I don't know by who or why,
but I am.
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I know, honey.
You were on that
solo mission in Hawaii.
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I mean, it's not
like you snuck
out of your hotel,
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took Honolulu Air flight 213
to Hong Kong that arrived
at 6:14 AM,
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rented a car, scored some
explosives on the black market,
decimated a building,
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and made it all the way back
to your hotel in Hawaii
in time for breakfast.
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Did you?
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Take that back, or they
will find me guilty...
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of killing my husband!
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Look, Mom,
we are not gonna rest
until you are out of here
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and the person
who set you up is sitting
in there instead.
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My attorney
from The Organization,
Maggie Summer,
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said that they're turning me
over to the Hong Kong
authorities in 72 hours.
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Time's up. Let's go.
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Now that doesn't give
you a lot of time.
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Work with Maggie!
And while you're at it,
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bring me a darn brush!
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Okay, so they
got a receipt for a plane
ticket to Hong Kong
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on Mom's credit card.
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No!
Her phone and spy bracelet
pinged off a cell tower
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in the area at the time
of the explosion.
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No!
And a picture of her getting
celebratory dim sum afterwards,
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which is totally bogus because
Mom doesn't even like dim sum.
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Noo!
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Dad, are you okay?
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No. I'm falling apart.
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She's the sun
to my moon.
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The surf to my turf.
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The tidies to my whities.
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Here. This'll make
you feel better.
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Ernie, I can't think
about eating right now,
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your mo--
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Ooh! Is that truffle oil?
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With jalapeno aioli.
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Okay, Ernie, enough
with the food already.
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It's what Mom would do.
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I'm trying to pick up
the slack around here.
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Like Mom always says,
food equals love.
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Mom's never said that.
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Well, maybe she would if you
could get her out of prison!
04:58.085 --> 04:59.995
( someone knocking
on door )
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Hi, Coopers!
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I'm Maggie Summer.
Kira's attorney.
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We have a lot to do
and not much time to do it.
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So I suggest
we get started.
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You really think
you can help my mom?
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There's a lot
of evidence against her.
What's your defense strategy?
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All you need to know is,
I may not look like it,
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but I am a pitbull!
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Really? Very...
pink pitbull.
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That's right, missy.
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And I'm not a glass
half-full kinda person.
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My glass is overflowing!
05:36.323 --> 05:39.323
( laughing weakly )
I need you people
to stay positive
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if we're gonna work
together and save your mom!
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Now, are you with me?
05:43.263 --> 05:44.233
CRAIG AND ERNIE: Yeah!
Yeah!
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I can't hear you!
05:45.432 --> 05:46.402
ALL: Yeah!
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I still can't hear you.
05:48.268 --> 05:49.428
ALL: Y-Yea--
Wait. Wait.
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I could that time,
I just--I wanted
to make my point.
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I'm so glad you're here.
05:57.344 --> 05:59.214
You're organized,
you have a plan of action,
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and, wow,
you smell really good.
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What is that?
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It's a little fragrance
I like to call... positivity!
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Okay. I sent your dad
to Hong Kong to canvass
for witnesses.
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Now, I need you to go
over your mom's story
again with her
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and look for anything
she may have left out.
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Okay. Yup.
No, I got it.
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Uh, is there anything
else I can do?
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Yes. I want Ernie's recipe
for his focaccia bread.
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Tell him it was
out of this world!
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Yeah, you're still new here.
We don't compliment Ernie.
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( cackling )
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( cackling )
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( laughing stops )
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What do you
think you're doing?
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Oh. Hi, sweetie.
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I'm Maggie.
I'm helping defend your mom
and bring her home.
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By inserting a flash drive
and uploading suspicious files?
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Oh. Oh, honey, it's more
complicated than that.
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I would explain it,
but... ( baby voice )
you wouldn't understand.
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Try me.
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I don't have time for games.
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I have a built-in
lie detector.
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And it's telling me
you're full of baloney.
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Except for when you
called me cutie.
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That part was true.
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Ohhh. You're a junior
undercover digital youth!
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Why didn't you just say so?
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( Judy powers down )
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I would've powered you
down a lot sooner.
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Ship-It Express?
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Yeah, I need a package pick-up.
It's about 4 feet tall and nosy.
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If we don't get thext 24 hours,
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they're gonna turn our mom over
to the Hong Kong authorities,
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and we might never ever see
her again.
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( gasps ) Hey, hey.
Hey.
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I don't know about you,
but I am on Team Positive!
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Come on, everybody.
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Hold hands.
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Okay, Maggie, look.
I think that's kind
of a waste of--
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Do it!
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Okay.
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Hands high, hands low.
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Let those
negative feelings go!
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Everybody.
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ALL:
Hands high, hands low.
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ALL: Let those
negative feelings go!
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Dad! Shoes! I just
did the floors.
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I'll get the mop.
08:34.801 --> 08:36.771
Ernie's work
is never done.
08:38.672 --> 08:40.642
Dad, please tell me you
found evidence in Hong Kong
08:40.674 --> 08:42.574
to prove that Mom was not
in that dim sum picture.
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No, it was a complete
waste of time.
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I sat in Wang Lee's
Dim Sum House for 12 hours
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and nobody knew anything.
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Wang Lee's? No.
It was Wang Lu's.
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No, you told me
it was Wang Lee's.
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Oh, you must've misheard me.
08:59.760 --> 09:02.660
Craig, do you think I'd send
you all the way to Hong Kong
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on a wild goose chase?
09:03.964 --> 09:08.674
No.
Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey.
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( baby voice ) Turn that
frown upside down.
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Stay positive!
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I was positive you said
it was Wang Lee's!
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Look, Maggie,
I know my mom believes in you,
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but I'm starting to think
you're full of--
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and I mean this
in the most positive
way possible--poopoo!
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Wha-- That's not
very positive, K.C.
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It's not meant to be.
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Look, you have done
absolutely nothing to help,
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and we are running
out of time.
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Okay. I was waiting till
I had all my ducks in a row,
09:42.970 --> 09:45.840
but I think I know
who's setting Kira up.
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His name is Chuck Maddox.
09:48.742 --> 09:50.512
Well, what does
he have against my mom?
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She discovered he was selling
secrets and had him kicked out
of The Organization.
09:54.781 --> 09:58.921
Last I heard, he was working
as a professor at the
George Washington University.
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Hm. Looks like it's time
to teach that professor
a little lesson.
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Ooh.
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I finally restore
my power and-- Oh, no.
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I fell for the ol'
"mail the robot away" trick.
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Well played, Maggie.
( mocking Maggie ) Well played.
10:28.715 --> 10:31.955
( scoffs ) It's gonna be
a long walk home.
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Hey, uh, professor.
Can I ask you a question?
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Sure. Are you in one
of my classes?
10:48.935 --> 10:51.905
Yeah, I'm in Intro
to 'You Mess With My Mom,
You Mess With Me'.
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That sounds more
like Women's Studies.
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I teach poli-sci.
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( smirks ) Sure, you do.
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Is this about a bad grade
I gave you?
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Tell me everything you know
about The Organization's
field office in Hong Kong.
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Well, I know
it's in Hong Kong.
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Don't play cute with me.
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You set my mom up!
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I don't know
who your mom is!
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Kira Cooper.
Ring a bell?
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I have nothing against Kira.
11:32.045 --> 11:35.715
In fact, we used
to be friends before
I quit The Organization!
11:36.016 --> 11:38.916
Quit? Funny.
I heard you got fired!
11:38.952 --> 11:41.592
Fired? Me? Please.
11:41.621 --> 11:44.721
I'm much happier being
a college professor than
I ever was being an agent.
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I get summer vacations.
11:51.998 --> 11:54.698
Yeah, well,
if you don't
start talking,
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you're gonna be going
on a permanent vacation.
11:58.839 --> 11:59.799
( grimacing )
12:00.941 --> 12:02.741
( yelling )
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Ahh!
12:08.715 --> 12:09.855
Come on!
12:16.823 --> 12:19.593
Uhhh... ( clears throat )
Overdue book fines.
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Return your books, people.
Respect the process.
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Ughh.
12:35.742 --> 12:38.642
There's got
to be an easier way.
12:40.914 --> 12:43.784
Oh, wait. Duh.
12:46.753 --> 12:51.993
Why row row row
when you can go go go?!
12:57.831 --> 12:59.701
Mom? I found the guy
who set you up.
12:59.733 --> 13:01.673
Recognize him?
13:01.701 --> 13:04.701
I don't know.
Can you back him off
the glass a little?
13:04.738 --> 13:07.708
( Chuck gasps )
Chuck?
13:07.741 --> 13:09.711
How are you, sweetie?
13:09.743 --> 13:12.713
Sweetie?
Good to see you, Kira.
13:12.746 --> 13:16.646
You look well.
Other than being imprisoned
in a glass box thing.
13:16.683 --> 13:21.623
But at least it's bigger
than that first cubicle
we shared, right?
13:21.655 --> 13:23.095
( both chuckling )
13:23.123 --> 13:27.893
So you can bring me
an old friend but you can't
bring me a pair of pants?
13:27.928 --> 13:29.888
Mother. Big picture.
13:29.930 --> 13:33.570
Chuck set you up because
you got him fired.
13:33.600 --> 13:36.870
No. I wrote him a letter
of recommendation
to the university
13:36.903 --> 13:38.943
when he didn't want
to be an agent anymore.
13:38.972 --> 13:42.742
( muffled ) By the way,
I still owe you that lunch.
13:42.776 --> 13:46.636
( muffled )
Assuming you ever get out.
13:46.680 --> 13:47.880
Wait, so he's
really your friend?
13:47.914 --> 13:50.684
Yeah.
13:50.951 --> 13:53.691
K.C.: Ohh. ( laughing )
13:54.955 --> 13:57.825
Sorry about that. Hah.
13:57.858 --> 14:00.628
Looks like I owe you lunch.
( laughing nervously )
14:00.660 --> 14:04.660
And my mother wondered
why I wanted to quit
the business.
14:04.698 --> 14:07.898
Why in the world would you
think Chuck had anything
to do with this?
14:07.934 --> 14:09.734
Well ,because Maggie
told me he did.
14:09.769 --> 14:11.699
Look, I am having
serious doubts about her.
14:11.738 --> 14:13.968
She sent Dad to Hong Kong.
Twice.
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K.C., I trust her.
Don't lose faith.
14:17.677 --> 14:19.777
Oh, Maggie, hey.
We were just talking
about you.
14:19.813 --> 14:20.913
Yeah, and
I was just gonna ask--
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Who the heck are you?
14:23.016 --> 14:26.516
I'm Maggie Summer.
I'm defending your mother.
14:26.553 --> 14:30.663
Wait...
if you're Maggie, then--
14:30.690 --> 14:32.590
Who the heck is 'Maggie'?
14:39.349 --> 14:42.449
K.C., you're telling me
that there's another
woman pretending to be me?
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Yeah. She's-She's blonde,
about 5'4"...
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Honey,
that could be anybody.
14:47.257 --> 14:51.357
Okay, she wears a lot of pink.
Super perky.
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Candace Adams!
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I-I mentored
when she was training
to be an agent.
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I knew immediately
she didn't have what it takes.
15:01.271 --> 15:03.541
Any idiot could see something
was wrong with that woman.
15:03.573 --> 15:06.513
Well, when Dad gets back
from Hong Kong for the
second time in three days,
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I'll be sure
to let him know.
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Is this her?
Yup. That's her.
15:12.449 --> 15:13.619
Mom, now we can get
you out of here.
15:13.650 --> 15:17.250
Ooh, I can't wait to take down
that perky little powder-puff.
15:17.287 --> 15:21.157
No, K.C. We cannot alert
Candace that we're onto her.
15:21.191 --> 15:23.491
That girl is dangerous.
Who knows what she might do?
15:23.526 --> 15:28.496
K.C., your mission
is to do nothing.
15:28.531 --> 15:31.171
Isn't that more of a mission
for Ernie?
15:32.569 --> 15:35.339
Okay, fine,
but it's no fun being a spy
if your hands are tied.
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Tell me about it!
15:42.479 --> 15:48.449
( harmonica )
15:54.290 --> 15:56.520
Can I see that harmonica
for a second, Bobby?
15:56.559 --> 15:58.389
Thank you.
16:02.165 --> 16:05.535
Finally some
peace and quiet.
16:10.373 --> 16:12.273
Guys. Guys. Guys.
16:12.308 --> 16:13.438
You are not
gonna believe this.
16:13.476 --> 16:16.476
So it turns out Maggie
is actually-- in our kitchen!
16:18.381 --> 16:20.551
She's in our kitchen.
16:20.583 --> 16:22.523
'Cause it's dinner time.
16:22.552 --> 16:26.322
And that's where she'd be.
'Cause that'd be weird
if she were in the garage.
16:26.356 --> 16:31.356
You're home for dinner?
I only made
three Cornish game hens.
16:31.394 --> 16:34.164
And now someone's
gonna have to share.
16:35.498 --> 16:38.468
K.C., what were
you so excited about?
16:38.501 --> 16:40.171
Did you locate Chuck Maddox?
16:40.203 --> 16:42.543
No. Just, uh,
another dead end.
16:42.572 --> 16:46.642
Darn that brick wall
we just keep coming up
against.
16:49.245 --> 16:54.185
Oh... Oh!
I... just got a text.
16:54.217 --> 16:57.647
Unfortunately, I am going
to have to pass on dinner.
16:57.687 --> 16:58.647
You can't go.
16:58.688 --> 17:00.458
Why not?
17:00.490 --> 17:04.560
Because I am feeling
super negative right now,
17:04.594 --> 17:09.304
and I need your help, Maggie.
I need you.
17:09.332 --> 17:11.132
Guys, could you
give us a moment?
17:11.167 --> 17:14.367
Fine. I'll just torch
the crème brûlées
in the bathroom.
17:14.404 --> 17:16.304
Like an animal!
17:19.542 --> 17:22.242
I know you set my mom up,
Candace.
17:22.278 --> 17:24.348
Aahh!
17:24.380 --> 17:27.420
Took you long enough
to figure it out,
Miss Super Spy.
17:27.450 --> 17:29.450
Talk about nepotism!
17:40.263 --> 17:43.363
( Candace laughing )
( yelling )
17:44.267 --> 17:46.497
Mama's home!
17:50.640 --> 17:52.240
( Candace grimacing )
17:53.243 --> 17:54.383
( Candace yelling )
17:55.345 --> 17:57.255
What's all this--
Kira?
17:57.280 --> 17:59.550
Baby. You're home.
17:59.582 --> 18:00.582
What...
18:00.617 --> 18:03.277
...is going on?
18:03.319 --> 18:05.249
She was working against
Mom the entire time.
18:05.288 --> 18:07.488
She's a fake and
an annoying sicko nutjob.
18:07.524 --> 18:10.224
And, yes, Candace,
I am positive about it.
18:11.528 --> 18:15.258
All because I didn't
think she had what it
takes to be an agent.
18:15.298 --> 18:17.268
Oh, really?
Didn't have what it takes?
18:17.300 --> 18:19.470
Who disguised herself
as you?
18:19.502 --> 18:22.502
Who flew all the way
to Hong Kong,
destroyed a building,
18:22.539 --> 18:27.339
had some celebratory dim sum,
and then came back
and pinned it all on you?
18:27.377 --> 18:30.177
Me. That's who.
18:30.213 --> 18:32.313
And guess who
just confessed on tape?
18:32.348 --> 18:33.608
You. That's who.
18:35.652 --> 18:39.522
Agents!
Candace Adams,
you're under arrest.
18:39.556 --> 18:43.186
Ughh. ( grimacing )
18:43.226 --> 18:44.526
KIRA: Okay.
18:47.330 --> 18:49.530
Oh. Oh. Hey.
18:49.566 --> 18:51.496
Judy! Where have you been?
18:51.534 --> 18:53.204
I don't want
to talk about it.
18:53.236 --> 18:56.166
But next time the Ship-It
Express guy's around,
18:56.206 --> 18:59.266
tell him I got a bone
to pick with him.
19:07.217 --> 19:10.247
And now, a message from
the cast of K.C. Undercover.
19:10.620 --> 19:13.490
Hi, kids. We had a lot
of laughs this week.
19:13.523 --> 19:15.293
But there's one thing
we wanted to address.
19:15.325 --> 19:19.265
In this episode,
my character Judy gets
shipped off to another country.
19:19.295 --> 19:20.905
In the mail.
19:20.930 --> 19:25.330
And as funny as that is,
we are here to tell you that
you should not try this at home.
19:25.368 --> 19:27.398
People are not mail.
19:27.437 --> 19:29.537
Many of you have brothers
and sisters of your own.
19:29.572 --> 19:32.272
And if they're anything
like my brother,
19:32.308 --> 19:33.668
they can be annoying
as heck.
19:33.710 --> 19:37.310
But that does not mean
you should wrap them up
and ship them off to...
19:37.347 --> 19:40.307
England, or Venezuela,
or Cuba.
19:40.350 --> 19:42.480
It's just not cool.
19:43.419 --> 19:45.549
Even if you call dibs
on the last donut,
19:45.588 --> 19:48.388
and your brother Kumario
literally grabs it out
of your hand
19:48.424 --> 19:51.534
and licks it and says,
"Oh, were you gonna eat that?"
19:51.561 --> 19:53.591
Knowing full well
you were gonna eat that?
19:53.630 --> 19:56.200
It's still not okay
to ship them off.
19:56.232 --> 19:59.472
And you might think,
"Well, what if I pay
the mailman a little extra
19:59.502 --> 20:03.242
to mark it 'fragile',
then it is totally fine."
20:03.273 --> 20:05.613
It is not totally fine.
20:05.642 --> 20:08.342
Marking 'fragile' may
have never crossed your mind.
20:08.378 --> 20:11.608
You may be thinking,
"I'm not even gonna pay
for postage.
20:11.648 --> 20:15.178
"I'm just gonna throw it
in the garbage and let
the trash guy deal with him."
20:15.218 --> 20:18.248
Still not cool.
In fact, that's worse.
20:18.288 --> 20:21.288
Totally worse.
Even if your brother
deserves it.
20:21.324 --> 20:24.594
You're better off
not throwing him into a
box and laughing maniacally
20:24.627 --> 20:26.557
as he's shipped
to Timbuktu.
20:26.596 --> 20:28.556
Sure, your mom might miss
him for the holidays,
20:28.598 --> 20:31.468
but you know that
the Thanksgiving turkey
is gonna taste
20:31.501 --> 20:36.401
so much better without
your brother's nasty saliva
all over it.
20:36.439 --> 20:38.369
"Oh? Were you gonna
eat that turkey leg?"
20:38.408 --> 20:40.338
Yes, I was gonna
eat that turkey leg!
20:40.376 --> 20:42.306
Quit licking
my food, Kumario!
20:46.416 --> 20:48.276
Are you okay, Kamil?
20:48.318 --> 20:50.218
( breathes ) I'm fine.
20:50.553 --> 20:53.493
As I was saying,
do not ship your siblings.
20:53.523 --> 20:55.393
ALL: It's the law.
20:58.594 --> 21:00.234
Rob, your name's on TV.